Battlezone 1

One day i was sitting in a train with next to me Daniel Cammack, aka 440dartgts .
In front off me a nun and beside her a beautiful girl with short skirt and nice breast.
suddenly the train went into a tunnel there was no light in the compartment so it was pitchblack.
in the darknes you could hear a smack, and the train came out of the tunnel.
Daniel was rubbing his painfull cheek.
what do all of this people think , i go one by one
the nun thinks :daniel wanted to grab the girl and she didnt want that ,so she give him a smack
the girl thinks :daniel wanted to grab me but in the darkness he grabbed the nun and she gave him a smack.
Daniel thinks :Kirk the womanizer grabbed the girl but,she thought it was me so she smacked me.
and mine thoughts are :when the train goes in another tunnel, i smack Daniel one more time.

Hahahaha, that was epic XD

The NSDF Thunderbolt has Rocket Bombs.
The BDog Thunderbolt has Comets.
The Armory has Day wreckers.
Chuck Norris has his Roundhouse kick.

What's my ping?

It's over nine thousand!

WHAT! OVER NINE THOUSAND!? THERE'S NO WAY THAT CAN BE RIGHT!!!

Done-to-death meme is done to death.

Sporkinator doesn't care.

bz2

The Cake is a lie

capt choes

THE ADMIN GOD

I was once chatting with my buddy online, who is also a BZ fanatic, and I told him I was creeped out because it sounded like someone was sneaking around outside my house (lots of crackling noises). He said, calmly, "Don't worry, just put a couple of prox mines out there!" I bout died laughing.

On a flight back in time Jt kirk ended up in an old western town. When he arrived he asked the sheriff what the local men do at night for entertainment. The sheriff replied, (we bang the barrel). Jt says (i do not understand)? At this point the sheriff explains there are no women in town so each night the men line up in front of an old whiskey barrel and stick their male parts into the cork hole. Well Jt Kirk gets to thinking about women and such and thinks, (hmm i have been on the enterprise to long and i need some loving). Now Kirk steps in line and takes his turn on the cork hole and with a sigh of relief exclaims that is the best i ever had! The sheriff says to James t Kirk, (its a good thing too because tomorrow is your turn in the barrel).

Sorry Kirk i could not let your joke go unpunished even though it is months old. HeHe Valak

that was not funny , my ass hurts like hell

Peace kirk, Glad you have a sense of humor. Im still working on the space ship and yes ill still fly at night lol. Valak

A whole new set of jokes have to be made up now, there's a whole new community in Battlezone since 1.5.

Here is a poem my buddy wrote about BZ, it's pretty epic! Keep in mind that I didn't write it.

Noble American soldiers, NSDF
You are the cause of chaos and death
Among the soviet ranks you make
Each pathetic red figure shake and quake.

Our APC's, the Flying Fortresses, will fill the sky
Each and every Czar surely will die
When a full volley of AT-Stabbers fill their faces
The Black Dogs will make them retrace their paces.

Deployed Badger check your view
A lumbering Golem comes to destroy you
Will your minigun rounds his attack abate?
Or will his blast cannons seal thy fate?

Alas, poor Badger, I fear your time has come
I think you may be destroyed by this Commie bum!
But heark! What is this flying across the plain?
I believe it is your American brethern come to
Cause this Russian scumbag pain.

Ah! Much more than I expected!
It seems six bombers have elected
To come and kill this Soviet jerk
With Rocket Bombs. It makes me smirk!

Witness my friends the flaming debris
Of what was once a Walker too slow to flee
Oh valiant ones with great bravery and flaming Rocket
You have secured the NSDF hold of this planet.